Was yours a meet cute, reader? A meet cute is a serendipitous coming together of two movie characters fated for love. And although we are in no movie, I suspect we will read a few such stories here today.
Manufactured holidays have never been high on my personal to-do list (except of course for my birthday). All I knew about Valentine's Day could fit on to the head of a conversation heart (Kiss Me!). Being the perpetual single girl never got me much in the way of flowers, chocolate or greeting cards.
Nonetheless, a little cyber research on our Saint Valentine revealed the following: there probably wasn't a Saint Valentine. (Because today's is a truncated column, I am forced to leave out my findings on martyrdom, avian mating rituals and Chaucer, all part of the history of today. Drat.)
No Saint Valentine? Why, Virginia, not to worry. Even without a fat cigar smoking patron to dispatch cupid on cue, there is such a thing as love. Modern love can take on many forms, but most of it boils down to Eros, Philia or Agape.
Eros, of course, is the typical focus of today's celebration. For the uninitiated, Eros burns, and antibiotics take care of that only sometimes. It is hurdy gurdy, fertility, rivened fields, vertical monuments, clefts, passion and the like. We may dress it up and call it a fine romance, but that old basic rhythm resides deep in each of us.
Philia is a kind of friendship love. Although I could find no etymological link to the root word, I think of this love as affiliative. This love is a picnic at noon with friends in Prescott Park followed by a snooze on the grass. Biblical scholars treasure each mention of Philia because it takes a far back seat to its oft more cited cousin, Agape.
Ah, Agape, selfless, unconditional, sacrificial love. Like Eros, Agape can be given to one not worthy of it, but unlike Eros, Agape is purely of the heart and not the nether regions. Agape, I suspect, is what is left after the long unraveling of the years. Surely, it is the kind of love responsible for Sandra Day O'Connor's acceptance of the nursing home love of her husband, simply because it brings him comfort.
Whatever the kind of big love in your life today, enjoy.
XO. Google O'Connor and dementia. It'll make ya cry. suzanne.danforth@gmail.com.
